life - hOw chaLLenging

8:51 20/11/2007
there not much difference so far. i've always been on my own anyway. but the fact that dear is also not here, is killing me. he left me. well, i know. i know. tomorrow he'll be back. which means, i have to be alone, completely on my own, for one whole day. where to go, with whom, when? sigh.. i had sigh for two days already. anum and achik just got on their journey, to Gunung Senyum. will only be back on 22d. nick started her lab for two days already. making her unavailable to me. who else? aina? she's bit far. plus, her classes already starting.. should not give her any problem. diddy? well, we're not THAT close, that i'd hang out with her, in comfort. not that she's not comforting me.. but, it'd be nothing to talk about. except for jepa. that'd be all.. paws said she's coming. but as usual, not knowing when, is irritating me. heck, what should i do?!

i've always been on my own..



21:46 20/11/2007

it's hilarious. yet saddening.. acik and anum came back. why? achik left behind the most important thing - pure water solution. sigh. how could they. plus, achik fell on her butt inside the cave. and she's not feeling well. i guess there's something wrong. she must have hit her backbone or something. she even said she felt numb on her right leg. that IS something to worry about. well, anum said she'll continue hers at Lenggong on 23rd. perhaps by then, achik has recovered.. it will be pain in the ass to complete her thesis without anyone's help. i know Umi won't give me a sane opinion, letting me go with them. sigh. when will i be free??
so, again, tonight, i sleep with company. ^_^ yay! i hate sleeping alone. it's not that achik sleep together with me on my bed. [duh!] but, i got company. that's best of all.. achik planned to go to Klinik Kesihatan tomorrow. well, i think i should accompany her. i have nothing to do, anyway. right? herm.. she also planned to get back to Paloh - if there's a ticket for her. but she might need to take a cab. i don't have my bike anuymore - remember? abayak took it in his custody. huu.. i mish Nouvo..

sayang will be back tomorrow. what time, i do not know. well, he'd tell me if he wants to.

i guess almost all my friends, knew that i'm in the middle of financial crisis. have no money to eat. neither for entertainment!! sigh..
i borrowed some from Aina. huu.. luv u! and my teddy, Aidiel. hurm.. thanx dude! asked from alif, but he ain't got any. he too, in the same situation as i am.. well, it's okay. i can't force him, right? it hurts. but nevermind. i was afraid, sayang would be hurt if he knew that i'm asking some money from friends.. well, i won't be doing it if i'm not desperate, my dear.. sorry. and at last, you gave me permission, right? thank you my dear... love you. so much. i'm afraid you might get hurt, knowing that you're unable to do anyhting to help me, getting through this messy period of time, when you too, are in the same situation. just not as bad as i am. huu~

life has been rough this semester. thesis. assignments. finals. presentations. tests. notes. everything cost me money. and i don't even asked more than i should from someone i dear most. why should i? she won't give me. even worse, she'd be reminding me about it for thousand times if she did give me any money. i won't ask her. i'm fine this way. i believe myself. and i'd prove her, friends are eveything to me. because they never leave me to die.

friends, thank you for everthing. i really appreciated things you've all done for me. Nikki_Yippy. Achik. Ponty. thanx dear. lotsa2!
love you guys so very much!!


fin