if hearts are meant to be broken, then would life meant to be wasted?

listening to : just dance by lady gaga
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fakap. seriously. 

don't say a word of how i am reacting right now because i am so emo. damn.

it's eid. and that someone gothing nothing else to whine but my weight and how fat my ass is. wtf?!

it's eid, people. EID!! and someone just ruined everything for me. it's not even night yet. and how am i going to go through the remaining hours of Eid?!

i am so going back to KL this friday. fuck everything! i am going anyway. even it means my life!

i can't stay here any longer. seriously. suicide of i had to. 

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.

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some people just don't know when to stop. i'm begging you. stop doing this. 

why can't you just leave me alone? even if you can't, just pretend you didn't see me. pretending i don't exist would be better.

it's suffocating. you're smothering me. with all these thoughts. with all these words of hatred. why don't you just.. stay away?

am i embarassing you for me being who i am? am i not up to your standard of life if i say i am happy with how i look like? are you suffering for me being ridiculously happy with myself?

please. stop.

you're making me suffer. no. no tears for you. i'm a strong girl. everyone knows but you. such denials.

please. you're making me missing my previous years in UM even worse. where you're nowhere in sight. when you're nowhere near. damn, such blissful life i had. can i turn back time? please God, please!

if i were to choose, i'd choose you over my life. not because i love you. but because i'd be dead by then. so i won't hear anymore hurting words from you. wouldn't that be great? you won't hear anything irritating from me either. that would keep you sane. keep you calm either. right? anything. anything for you.

just let me go.