wednesday, 22 August 2007, cont'd.

Karma. What comes around goes around. It’s been quite often, lately, I’ve been seeing people who did things to me, endured the exact same feeling and situations the put me through. Not that I’m keeping a grunge whatsoever. But it happened. It does.

Somehow, when I didn’t care anymore, it happens. People got what they deserved. They’re paying the price for what they did. And anyhow, they must.

It is true that deep in my heart, I do feel happy. Well, happy is not the word... hurm... pleased may be the closest. Well, who doesn’t? I am a human being. And I have my own feelings to think about. Perhaps it is time; I start to think about me, more than I do for others. There’s one thing I’ve always wanted people to think about me. That I am a kind of person who always gives a friend, a thought. Never do I intend to forget nor do I ever will displease. Even so, I always wonder, why can’t my friends do the same towards me? What is the difference?

Human always feel delighted when others compliment, or gratifies them. But somehow, to do the same, there’s always hesitation. I’m confused, in a way. Some told me that, in order to be respected, you must give respects first. Same goes for honesty, trust and happiness. But why does it not happening to me? I gave people respects, as much as I could, but eventually, they didn’t even recognized that. What a waste have I done!

Some say that they must remain they way they are, and be true to yourselves. What the heck? People change. If you’re not, then you’re officially dead. Certify that.

So stop being hypocrite. Stop lying. Stop pretending. It’s temporary…

There’s something I’d like to share with you. Lately, there’s this lady, whom before this, criticize the way I act when I’m with my boo. The fact that she’s few brother in laws, made her feels like she knows best how to handle and act in a relationship. Hell no! She’s clueless! Don’t brag on something you never experienced, girl. Never ever think about that. Guys are not the same. You should not judge them, based only on you observations on your in-laws. That’s pure idiot. To be true, I let you go few times already. Boasting on what you never even believe in, you’re lying to yourselves. And us too.

I never said a word, when you condemned me before. When I strolled by the street with my boo, you said it’s not right to do so. Same goes when I held his hands. And then came the part where he kissed my hands every time we’re parting. Everything seemed so wrong to you. But then, what do I care? So I just let you go off the hook. Your words mean nothing to me, as I know; your words are completely unsubstantiated. Clueless. You’re trying to act like you’re more mature than what I am. And basically, I once agreed on that. Yeah, I’m childish. But the right way of being childish. I didn’t cry over spilled milk…

And now, it’s you who’s doing it. And I only kept quiet. Bite your own tongue, eh? And you’re acting like everything I did before, which was so very wrong to you once, now is something delightful and very right to be doing. What the heck?

Sigh... this is why, never brag on something you do not know, nor do you have experienced. It’s plain stupid.

fin..